Sunday, February 27, 2011

My arm hurts. And my neck, my side, my hand...

So, I'm smoking behind a tree this morning when I hear someone approaching. I didn't hesitate twice to pretty much eat my cigarillo right then and there (Yes, it burns. It taste's horrible. It also keeps them from seeing your smoke, or hear you put out the light.), then turned around the tree just in time to see something black, semi-faceless and quiet in my face. I reacted like any sane man would.

I grabbed it's arm and attempted to break it's kneecap with my foot.

He then twisted his arm out of my grasp and hit me in the chest with his knee and...Well, things went kind of nuts from there. I stumbled, he pulled a gun, I remember vaguely kicking the gun out of his hand and tackling him at the waist, knocked him into a tree. Then he elbowed me in the head and by the time the stars cleared, he had me in a choke hold that I managed to elbow free of before rolling away and grabbing for my knife, he grabbed his and we...

Well you know what, we had a knife fight. A very long, martial arts filled knife fight. I am proud to say that I did not get stabbed in the neck, but I did manage to jam my KABAR into that gas mask of his. It only ended up going through the side into one of those filtering things, sliced it off. He did cut my favorite hoodie open though. The prick.

Eventually I lost my knife and he went for a stab. By this time we knew who each other was, but I don't think it mattered. I hadn't had a good fight in a long time and as odd as this sounds, it was strangely -fun-. And I think he was testing me. So I did what any sane, rational man does at this point.

I pulled out a gun and shot the knife out of his hand. And then, this is the funny part. He pulled out his gun too and we spent the next fifteen minutes performing what can vaguely be described as 'Trying to shoot each other in the face'. While trying to knock each other's guns out of our hands. I nearly broke my hand because I batted his handgun out of the way as I fired mine once and dear god, that hurt.

Eventually we both completely ran out of bullets and ended up staring at each other for several seconds. I had several sore bruises, a bloody nose, some cuts on my cheek and a dislocated left shoulder because fuck ME that man can do a judo throw.

And then I bust out laughing because he had a knife stuck in his gas mask. It was really hilarious looking.

Then I invited him onto the boat I'd rented for the occasion. Fun times.

Right now we're sitting on it. I'm typing this up as I wait for my nose to stop bleeding.

2 comments:

  1. -chuckles quietly- goddamn, you guys... XD

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  2. My gawd. You.... That's just... wow...

    ReplyDelete